Where It All Began

My husband and I were facing a crossroads in our newly married life. He had just graduated from college and I was still going. We wanted a plan of action before my husband  hopped into the job market for the long haul – something we could experience together before pursuing the American Dream of career, home and family.

 

After some research and serious soul-searching, we decided to join the Peace Corps.  There was just one teensy little glitch.  Small signs and symptoms were beginning to appear that suggested I might be pregnant. 

A few short months later, I gave birth to the light of my life - a precious baby girl. My husband entered the job market after all, and I continued going to college on a part-time basis in between Mom duties (for the next 8 years before I got my degree!).  

After I had my daughter, I remembered something my mother said to me when my collie had puppies. My mom was so impressed with how much I cared for those tiny puppies, she said, "If you ever have babies, I hope you treat them as well as your puppies.”

I did better than that. I held my little girl in my arms and kissed her all the time. I'll never forget the warm feeling I got when I saw her sweet little eyes looking up at me.  I had just one child and I told everyone I knew that she was so perfect I never needed to have another. Having, holding and loving my little angel was pure heaven.  

The Crisis

However, I discovered that just loving my daughter so much didn't make me a great parent.  In fact, when she was in the eleventh grade, my smart, energetic and able daughter was failing four of her classes. I was terrified she might be on the verge of being held back a year or flunking out of school entirely.  I knew something drastic had to be done to turn this my daughter's life around.

By that time, my husband and I had divorced and I was a single parent struggling to make ends meet.  I felt all alone with no idea what to do. I talked to my friends and family - and read everything about parenting I could put my hands on. I even saw a therapist. Nothing offered much guidance or help.

Finally, I had to look at my own parenting techniques to determine what part they might have played in my current situation. Oh my!   was downright painful to see how much I had unknowingly contributed to my daughter’s issues.  I always thought parenting came naturally. It didn't.  

In fact, I had some parenting practices that make me cringe today. One of the worst was my habit of telling my daughter what was wrong with her. I wasn't trying to be critical; I just wanted to help her be the best person she could be. To me, I was being a helpful, caring parent. But to her, it came across as a barrage of constant criticism that made her feel like she couldn't do anything right. So she just stopped trying and that is how we ended up in our current state. 

My daughter was also a very smart, capable student, so I figured school would simply work out for her. I never saw a reason to actually teach her good study habits or the importance of effort in academic success. I assumed that knowledge would come to her quite naturally, but it really didn’t. My daughter was left to figure things out on her own, and that approach didn’t help much when it came to her schoolwork – or the rest of her young life.

What Turned It Around

It wasn't easy, but I learned and developed some new parenting practices that made a profound difference in both of our lives. I'll never forget the times I spent (two hours a day!) commuting from work, just to pick up my daughter from school and promptly drive her to the library, where I would wait outside in the car while she studied.

My tongue actually got sore from biting back those 'habitual" criticisms. I almost choked the day she gave me a handwritten term paper to read. Handwritten! I couldn’t believe it. But I kept my mouth shut and chose to look for the positive points of the paper instead.  The sun literally sparkled in her eyes when I told her how her writing had brought Theodore Roosevelt alive for me and articulately explained why he was such a dynamic president.

I can still see the huge smile on her face - and the joy I felt -  the bright, sunny day she bounded up the steps to accept her high school diploma.

I'll never forget the vice principal ambling over to me that day and saying, "We never thought she'd make it," - even the school had given up on her!

My daughter went on to graduate from college and become a highly successful manager with a wonderful husband and two fantastic children. Her life is successful and happy most of the time.

I shudder to think what might have happened if I hadn't changed my parenting practices.  I didn’t have to transfer my daughter to a different school to avoid the negative influence of certain “friends.” I didn't "lay down the law", use tough love, move or change jobs. I changed what I did in my own parenting techniques, and she changed as a result. 

Parenting Skills That Make A Difference in Raising Children

When I look at what a wonderful mother my daughter is today and the terrific experiences she and my son-in-law create for their children, I am thrilled that I made that change in how I related to my daughter.  As difficult as it was, I am so happy that I searched out and found what really works in raising children. It has been worth all the effort.

Since that time, I have learned many other well-researched and proven parenting skills that can help children thrive and flourish. Skills that help children create successful, fulfilling and rewarding lives for themselves. These scientifically proven methods mark the difference between what sounds great and what has been proven great. Let me ask you, would you prefer to fly in an airplane that simply looks good or one that has been tested under every condition imaginable and proven to be reliable?  Why should we want any less for our precious kids?

I have personally seen and experienced the difference between proven parenting skills and those that simply sound good on paper. I'm dedicated to providing practices that other parents like yourselves can count on with your own children. All of the information provided on this website has been through the rigors of intense research and has been proven reliable in effectively raising children who can succeed in life.

Not that every technique I provide is guaranteed to work just right for you and your children. I encourage you to use the information here and customize it to your own unique family.  It's important to keep the basics the same, because the foundation has been proven. However, there are many ways to make these methods your own.  In the same way that houses have similar structures but massively different interiors, families can also boast their own dynamics and needs. 

I saw an amazing difference with my daughter, after changing my approach to parenting. After seeing success, I am dedicated to providing this information to other parents and educators. In fact, I wrote a book about the proven skills I learned, and became a school consultant to teach these practices in practical settings. I have worked with thousands of children, teachers, parents, administrators and corporate employees, teaching them vital skills for generating productive, meaningful, and rewarding lives. 

As co-author of I Can Do It! How to Help Your Child Have a Can-Do Attitude, I've learned that reaching children early can prevent negative behaviors from becoming ingrained. 

I've also appeared on radio talk shows across the country. I was featured on the Oprah Winfrey Parenting Tips show with my daughter and on a PBS special with best-selling author, Dr. David Burns.

It is my goal to reach over 1,000,000 parents and 10,000 schools because I think parents and educators will see satisfying results from using proven skills. As the information spreads to other parents and teachers, my hope is that we see a new generation rise up with a success-oriented, “can-do” attitude that transforms the parenting and education of the future.